Breasts for $10, 000.00

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for 100 dollars?"
"Are you nuts?", she replies. And keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he asks again."Listen sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" So the guy runs again around the next block and faces her again: "Would you let me bite your breasts for 10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says "Hmmm 10,000 dollars eh? OK, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there" So they went to that alley and she takes off the blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them he jumps on them and start caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them... but no biting. In the end the woman gets all annoyed and asks: "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah", he replies. "Too expensive"

The 47 Year-Old Lady

A middle aged women decides to have a face-lift for her birthday.
She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The
woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about
herself.

She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she
proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the
same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going.
Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put
my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you
are."

Best Web Cam

I'm using web camera application. I
can webcast Internet video to view my site
from anywhere.

With my new

webcamera application, I can run a streaming webcast
of my site viewable from the Internet. This opens up a league
of opportunities, the surface of which has not even been scratched in today's world. I can use
this webcast for surveillance purposes, allowing me to watch what's going on in my site
at any moment from a remote viewing station.

As long as I have the web camera
running and a remote computer with Online access, I can watch the apartment.
With the software and the webcam, I can change the settings to capture video,
sense movement (if I don't want to keep the webcam running at all times),
or use a mixture of a online feed and recorded video to implement a security
system that takes full benefit of novel technology.

With a capture card,
I can simply move relevant video and screenshots to use on
any workstation.

With delicate files on my workstation
and expensive stuff in my room,
it only makes sense to have a protection setup that I can supervise whenever I feel that my privacy
is being compromised. If I owned a small firm or lived with roommates, I couldn't imagine
living without it.

Web camera software senses motion, triggers
siren, captures images, records video, and sends captured images by e-mail

Webcams
are fine for more than just making ip conversations
more realistic. They can furthermore be
an enormously helpful device
for exploit in residence or corporation security.

Application
is now available that can sense movement and use
it as a trigger for various actions.


The way that
it works is to analyze the picture sent by a camera that is either attached using USB
or using a video capture card for motion. After it picks up
that motion, it can then acquire any number of actions,
including triggering an siren.

A more popular software, though, is to either
send live frames of what is happening in the picture that is covered by the webcam
or to even broadcast via live streaming precisely what is
happening with both sound and image. If installed secretly,
this software could even be used for clandestine surveillance.

Given the
large amount of systems that either have a webcamera connected
or can support one, this is an perfect way to inexpensively and effortlessly protect
the zone across that property
from intrusion or robbery.

Streaming live video and audio from capture device
through camera server application

Surveillance application

If you find yourself with a need to record security video with a webcam over an area,

webcam
computer software

may be the right choice for you. Using this application, it is possible to set up a
camera to detect movement and begin recording when it does.

Depending on your needs, the sights and sounds that are picked up by the webcam may be stored on a hard drive, or if the captured video
needs to be available off-site, can be webcast using the server's broadcasting
function to a web site.

Depending on the quality of the webcam and the viewer's video card, the picture that is recorded may be as clear as a high-definition tv signal.
Using a install like this, it is possible to provide a measure of surveillance for an area when
the economics of the situation do not justify hiring a security firm or setting up a professional monitoring system.

This

do-it-yourself approach

can save money while not compromising on protection.

Honest Mistake

A DINNER CONVERSATION THAT WENT WRONG

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shittt."

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There are number of Interenet portals that provide you to watch Television channels.
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They last for a short time, but are worth watching.
Online TV is the newest technology brought to us by the amazing discovery of the Internet.
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The Painting of the Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas,

  There was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, 'Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.' The young man held out this package. 'I know this isn't much.. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.'

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.. 'Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.'


The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. 'We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?' There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one". But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200"? Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandts. Get on with the  real bids"! But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?". Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting" Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. "We have $10, who will bid $20?". "Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters".

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!" A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!". The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over.". "What about the paintings?". "I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!'

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: 'The son, the son, who'll take the son?' 

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything. 

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE 

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The Top Five Cancer-Causing Foods

1. Hot Dogs 

Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.

2. Processed meats and Bacon

Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.

3. Doughnuts 

Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.

4. French fries 

Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .

5. Chips, crackers, and cookies

All are usually made with white flour and sugar. Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.

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UNE SOCIETE SUISSE VEND SON OR Bonjour à tous et à toutes Une vraiment bonne nouvelle aujourd

The Main Causes of Liver Damage

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.

2. Not urinating in the morning

3 . Too much eating

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication. 

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil. 

As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is  very fit. 

8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.

Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store. We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to 'schedule.' 

Greater Love Has No One Than This

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner,

the people were in and out of the cold.

The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell

many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said,

"Mister,

you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could

find a warm place to sleep tonight would you?

You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and

down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight.

Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You

go down the street to that big white house and you knock

on the door. When they come out the door you just say

John 3:16, and they will let you in."

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

1. No Breakfast 
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration. 

2 . Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power. 

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease. 

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development. 

5. Air Pollution 
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency. 

6 . Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest.. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.. 

7. Head covered while sleeping 
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects. 

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain. 

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage. 

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain 

What Starts with F and ends with cK ?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade"

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.