Collinwood Subdivision

Collinwood Subdivision is now selling "House and Lot" for affordable Cost. Collinwood is currently located at Mactan, Lapu-lapu City, Cebu, Philippines.

The Collinwood Subdivision is just across Gaisano Grand Mall, and a walking distance from the private market of Basak, one ride to Marigondon Church, Marigondon Beach, Marigondon Elementary School, Marigondon National High School, Mactan Doctor Hospital, Basak Elementary School, MEPZ II, Lapu-Lapu City proper, Lapu-Lapu City Market, La Nueva, Virgen dela Regla Parish Shrine, etc.

Check photos below with each basic info

Just leave a comment if want to know more about either of these houses.

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Collinwood - Hermoso

Floor Area:   81 sqm.

Lot Area:   180 sqm.

Price:   Php3,515,000.00

Features:

• Master's bedroom with exclusive toilet and bath
• Two bedrooms with bedroom closet
• Two toilet and bath with stylish bathroom fixtures
• Deluxe ceramic floor tiles for kitchen, living and dining rooms
• Carport
• Landscaped front garden

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Globalization

Subject: Globalization

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:_ Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer:_ An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French
tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles, treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a Filipino, using Bill Gates' technology and you are probably reading this on one of the IBM clones that use Taiwanese-made chips, and Korean-made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries, driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, trucked by Mexican illegal aliens, and finally sold to you.
That, my friend, is Globalization

Dr. Jose Rizal Facebook Account

click here to view more screenshots

6.9 Magnitude Earthquake Hits Ecuador

Last August 8, 2010, a 6.9 magnitude earthquake hits the Downtown Quilto, Ecuador.

According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the quake centered the south Quilto for about 170 kilometers or 105 miles with the depthness of about 190 kilometers or 114 miles. It is said that the quake blunted its damage and last for about 10 minutes from 1154 GMT or 6:54 a.m.

GERMAN - JAPANESE - AMERICAN

Three men, one German, one Japanese, and a Kano were sitting naked in a sauna. 

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager, 'he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand."


The Kano felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.

The Kano finally said... "Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax."

DEAR TECH SUPPORT

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had performed flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled other programs like Romance 9.9 and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer works and Housecleaning 2.6 crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix the problems, but it hasn't worked.

Sincerely,
Desperate


Dear Desperate,

Keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment program, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 should automatically run Guilt 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

Be aware, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is particularly bad and can create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. They are not supported and will crash Husband 1.0.

Husband 1.0 is a good package, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

To enhance performance, you might want to try HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Tech Support

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough,remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.   

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar  He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.   

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."   

CODED MESSAGE

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still alive," Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let him know that he is still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it out and emailed it to Colin Powell. Colin and his aides had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret Service... the list got longer and longer.

Eventually they asked Mossad in Israel for help. Cpt. Abe Cohen took one look at it and replied:

"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down..."

THE END IS NEAR

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"

Job Vacancy

 POSITION :

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
 Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

  JOB DESCRIPTION:

 Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

  RESPONSIBILITIES:

BIBLE SALESMAN

A sales company has particular trouble selling bibles. One day, a man comes in with a job application and says "l-l-l-l'd l-l-l-l-l- like t-t-t-t-t-to b-b-b-b- b-be a b-b-b-bible salesman, s-s-s-sir." initially, he doesn't want to give the job to this man, but decided to try him out.

After three weeks, the manager is looking at the charts and realizes that the newest guy is selling the most copies. Amazed, he calls him in to his office.

"You've only worked here for three weeks and you've already sold more copies than anyone else here! How do you do it?"

"W-w-w-w-w-well, l g-g-g-go up t-t-t-t-to th-the d-d-d-door and-d-d l-l--l s-s-s-say, w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-b-buy a c-c-copy o-o-of th-th-th-the b-b-b-bible, or w-w-w- w-w-would y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like m-m-me t-t-t-to r-r-r-r-read it t-t-t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?"

Daddy, It Hurts

This is A TRUE STORY AND IF YOU DON’T PASS THIS ON YOU DON’T HAVE A SOUL!!! 

My name is Chris ,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

Top Ten Excuses For Falling Asleep At Your Desk

1 "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

2 "I wasn't sleeping, I was trying to pick up contact lens without hands."

3 "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"