Breasts for $10, 000.00

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for 100 dollars?"
"Are you nuts?", she replies. And keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he asks again."Listen sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" So the guy runs again around the next block and faces her again: "Would you let me bite your breasts for 10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says "Hmmm 10,000 dollars eh? OK, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there" So they went to that alley and she takes off the blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them he jumps on them and start caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them... but no biting. In the end the woman gets all annoyed and asks: "Are you gonna bite them or what?" "Nah", he replies. "Too expensive"

The 47 Year-Old Lady

A middle aged women decides to have a face-lift for her birthday.
She spends $5000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving she says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," is the reply. "I'm exactly 47, " the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question. She replies, "I guess about 29." The
woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about
herself.

She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
this burning question. The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she
proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the
same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going.
Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a
woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put
my hands under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you
are."

Best Web Cam

I'm using web camera application. I
can webcast Internet video to view my site
from anywhere.

With my new

webcamera application, I can run a streaming webcast
of my site viewable from the Internet. This opens up a league
of opportunities, the surface of which has not even been scratched in today's world. I can use
this webcast for surveillance purposes, allowing me to watch what's going on in my site
at any moment from a remote viewing station.

As long as I have the web camera
running and a remote computer with Online access, I can watch the apartment.
With the software and the webcam, I can change the settings to capture video,
sense movement (if I don't want to keep the webcam running at all times),
or use a mixture of a online feed and recorded video to implement a security
system that takes full benefit of novel technology.

With a capture card,
I can simply move relevant video and screenshots to use on
any workstation.

With delicate files on my workstation
and expensive stuff in my room,
it only makes sense to have a protection setup that I can supervise whenever I feel that my privacy
is being compromised. If I owned a small firm or lived with roommates, I couldn't imagine
living without it.

Web camera software senses motion, triggers
siren, captures images, records video, and sends captured images by e-mail

Webcams
are fine for more than just making ip conversations
more realistic. They can furthermore be
an enormously helpful device
for exploit in residence or corporation security.

Application
is now available that can sense movement and use
it as a trigger for various actions.


The way that
it works is to analyze the picture sent by a camera that is either attached using USB
or using a video capture card for motion. After it picks up
that motion, it can then acquire any number of actions,
including triggering an siren.

A more popular software, though, is to either
send live frames of what is happening in the picture that is covered by the webcam
or to even broadcast via live streaming precisely what is
happening with both sound and image. If installed secretly,
this software could even be used for clandestine surveillance.

Given the
large amount of systems that either have a webcamera connected
or can support one, this is an perfect way to inexpensively and effortlessly protect
the zone across that property
from intrusion or robbery.

Streaming live video and audio from capture device
through camera server application

Surveillance application

If you find yourself with a need to record security video with a webcam over an area,

webcam
computer software

may be the right choice for you. Using this application, it is possible to set up a
camera to detect movement and begin recording when it does.

Depending on your needs, the sights and sounds that are picked up by the webcam may be stored on a hard drive, or if the captured video
needs to be available off-site, can be webcast using the server's broadcasting
function to a web site.

Depending on the quality of the webcam and the viewer's video card, the picture that is recorded may be as clear as a high-definition tv signal.
Using a install like this, it is possible to provide a measure of surveillance for an area when
the economics of the situation do not justify hiring a security firm or setting up a professional monitoring system.

This

do-it-yourself approach

can save money while not compromising on protection.

Honest Mistake

A DINNER CONVERSATION THAT WENT WRONG

WIFE: "If I died first, would you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shittt."

Watch television TV stations online on your Computer

Connect to
4000 Online television channels from your PC.
No need of of a TV tuner or decoder. 100% legal - no monthly payment needed.
Watch television shows live from home. All you need is
our Internet TV software,
your computer, and online connection.
It's my favourite Internet TV. It's so easy and convenient to use.
There are number of Interenet portals that provide you to watch Television channels.
Did you miss your preferred station last night?
Or if you prefer to watch remakes of old shows?
It's very easy to recall them. You can find them on
video web pages such as Internet television software,
or social networking pages like MySpace. They always show
you one or two parts of the favorite or most viewed shows.
You can even find stations that presented only on the Online.
They last for a short time, but are worth watching.
Online TV is the newest technology brought to us by the amazing discovery of the Internet.
Ever wonder what television channels are like in France, or England or India? It's easy to find out, just turn on your
computer and access your Internet television software
account on the internet. It's that simple. Could you have imagined even 20 years ago that
you would be able to tune in and watch a TV series from another part of the world?
Whether you connected from work to watch CNN, BBC or another news streaming station's online stream of a campaign
event or you watched it on some other device such as your cellular phone or iPOD, you were able to stay on top of current news
with the help of Live Internet television and live tv stations.