Good Realization

The daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her out:

"Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us? Not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your mom through??!!"

The girl cried: "sniff, sniff...dad... I became a prostitute..."

"WHAT?!...Out of here!, you shameless harlot, sinner! You're a disgrace to this family! I don't ever want to see you again!".

"OK, Dad. As you wish. I just came back to give Mom this fur coat and title to a mansion, a savings account certificate of $5 million for my little brother, and for you, Daddy, this gold Rolex, the sparkling new BMW that's parked outside and a lifetime membership to the Country Club...and an invitation for you all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...

"Now what was it you said you had become?"

Girl, crying again: sniff, sniff "A prostitute, Dad!".

"Oh, Gee! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant! Come here and give your old man a hug!".

Good Reason Why Your Printer Might Not Work

Courtesy of PerthPurplePenguin

Husband For Sale

 Husbands for Sale
 A store that sells husbands has just opened in Manila, where a
 woman may go to choose a husband.

 Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the
 store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

 There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose any man from a
 particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot
 go back down except to exit the building!
 
 So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a
 husband...
 
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
       Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:
 
       Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

 The third floor sign reads:

       Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
       Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
 "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
 Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
       Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

       Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the
building, and have a nice day!


Send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can
handle the truth !- 

Breakfast at McDonald's

This is a good story, please read it all the way through until the end. (After the story, there are some very interesting facts):

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.

I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake,
literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.

We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman , close to me, he was 'smiling'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance.

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentle man's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope.'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human being s and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on
the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS - NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE
PEOPLE.

Italian to English

Prego	Your Welcome
Boun Giorno	Good Morning
Buona Serra	Good Afternoon, Good Evening
Buona Notte	Good Night
Grazie	Thank You
Bella	Beautiful
Bello	Handsome
Brutto	Ugly/ male
Brutta	Ugly/ female
Che Dici?	What do you mean?
Sei Stanca?	Are you tired?
Sei Secura?	Are you sure?
Ho Caldo	I feel hot
Ho Sette	I'm thirsty
Ho Fame	I'm hungry
Ho Sonno	I'm sleepy
Ho Freddo	I feel cold
Ho Mangiato tanto	I eat a lot
Sei molto bella	your so beautiful

50 FACTS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.

Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms  like fried bacon.

Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions!

What is called a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

"Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.

In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child

A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off!

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

2010 Medical Technologist Licensure Exam Results

Professional Regulation Commission (PRC) releases the result of 2010 Medical Technologist Licensure Examination Result. The said examination was held last March 2 and 3, 2010 at Manila, Baguio and Cebu.

1 AALA, ARLITTE MENDOZA
2 ABANCO, JECKA DUSABAN
3 ABDULCADER, SANNAH MOHAMMAD
4 ABERIN, CHRISTIAN DE GUZMAN
5 ABRAN, EVA SHERLA CABARDO
6 ACHAS, BLESIL CENIZA
7 ACIBAL, KRIZELLE LUPISAN
8 AGAID, MARIE FE CECILLE EDER
9 AGBO, JUVY ANN TAFALLA
10 AGTULAO, JENNY ROSE PACING
11 AGUILAR, KRIZZA-ALMOND SARMIENTO
12 ALBINIO, JOHN PAUL MAGNO
13 ALCORDO, DEXTER GARCIA
14 ALEJAGA, JULIUS JOHN ATIENZA
15 ALIA, REANN CABILDO
16 ALIPONTO, ANNAJILLAH MACARADI
17 ALLARSE, DJENATZI DELAVIN
18 ALMA JOSE, JUVENAL JR RAMIREZ
19 ALMEDA, HAZEL ANN ALEDO
20 ALMODIEL, WEAH ESPARAGOZA

The Dolls of Love

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.

Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.

“I can’t”

“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.

“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all.

He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

JOBS @ Lexmark

Are you one of the filipinos who are still looking for a good job? Or already working but still looking for a job with a good ambience? Then this is your chance. Lexmark Research and Development Corp. is now looking for those who can fill the following positions:


CSSC Services

• Business Support Manager

Hardware

• Packaging Engineer
• Mechanical Engineer
• Product Engineer

Software

• Sr. Software Development Engineer

Firmware

• BIOS Firmware Dev't Engineer
• Firmware Dev't Engineer

INFO DEV

• Patent Writer
• Patent Draftsperson
• Production Artist
• Industrial Designer
• Technical Illustrator

Infrastructure Support

• Network Engineer
• IT Architect

Global Operations Center

• Asset Management Specialist

Finance

• GL Accountant

Test

• Test Engineer

If you're interested of one of those positions, feel free to send me your resume ivoh09@gmail.com

NEW STYLE TO RAPE

A woman left her office after working hours and saw a little child crying
on the road. Feeling pity for the child, she went to ask what happened.
The child said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?' Then the
child gave her a slip of paper and tells the woman where the address is.
The woman, being an average kind person who, didn't suspect anything took
the child there. When they arrived at the 'child's home', the kind hearted
woman pressed the door bell and she was electrocuted as the bell was wired
with high voltage, and fainted. The next day when she woke up, she found
herself in an empty house up in the hills, naked. Condoms were all thrown
around with semen flowing. There were at least about 20 condoms! She has not
even seen her assailants.

That's why nowadays crimes are targeted on kind people like her. Next time
if the same situation occurs, never bring the child to the intended place.
If the child insists, then bring the child to the police station.
Lost children are best to sent to police stations. Please send this
to all your female friends/colleagues, and your friends with girlfriends
and friends with wives. It is better to receive this a thousand times than
be a victim once!
To keep my Identity and job safe I will just say that I am a Law
Enforcement Officer. It is sad that we can't even help children now!
Keep safe Ladies! Gentlemen, please share with all the ladies you know.
Please pass this on to family members. It is better to be informed.

What To Do

When a thief forces you to take money from the ATM, do not argue or resist. You might not know what he or she might do to you. What you should do is to punch your PIN in the reverse mode.

I.e. if your PIN # is 1254, you punch 4521.The moment you punch in the reverse mode, the money will come out, but will be stuck into the machine half way out and it will alert the Police (security) without the notice of the thief. Every ATM has it; it is specially made to signify danger and help. Not everyone is aware of this.



Forward this to all your loved ones, friends and those you care about.
 

Senator's Expenses

GUSTO KONG MAGING SENADOR NG PILIPINAS
ANG SARAP MAGING SENADOR!

Miriam Defensor Santiago was featured in Correspondents last week.
Maganda rin naman ang naidudulot ng pagiging prangka ni Senador Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Ayon kay Santiago , marami ang tumatakbong Senador dahil sa laki ng budget na ibinibigay sa kanila kada buwan.
Lumalabas na P35,000 suweldo nila kada buwan ay pakitang-tao lang sa milyun-milyong budget ng bawat senador... Kada buwan ay may Fixed Monthly Budget ang bawat Senador ng humigit-kumulang P2 Milyon.
Sa opisina pa lang nila ay humigit-kumulang P500,000 ang budget nila sa Maintenance and Operating Expenses (Rental, Utilities, Supplies at Domestic Travels) at P500,000 para sa Staff at Personal expenses. Kaya para makatipid ang ibang Senador, kaunti lang ang staff na kinukuha nila. Nagtataka ka pa kung bakit mayroong mga Ghost Employee?
Bukod diyan, may P760,000 allowance pa sila kada buwan para naman sa Foreign Travel. At ang masakit pa nito, hindi na kailangan i-liquidate ng mga resibo ang mga gastusing 'yan kundi Certification lang ang Requirement.
Heto pa, lahat sila ay Chairman ng mga Komite sa Senado. Ang Committee Chairman ay tumatanggap din ng budget na sinlaki ng tinatanggap ng mga Senador na humigit-kumulang P1 Milyon din! Hindi sila mawawalan ng Komite dahil 24 lang ang ating mga Senador at 37 naman ang Committee sa Senado. There's food for everybody 'ika nga! Lumalabas na doble ang kanilang benepesiyo at kita kapag sila ay nabiyayaan ng Committee Chairmanship.
Sa P200 milyon na Budget para sa Pork Barrel ng mga Senador bawat taon, awtomatikong may 10% na S.O.P. o kita ang Senador na P20 milyon. Ito ang porsiyento na ibinibigay ng mga kontratista sa mga Senador na nagbibigay sa kanila ng mga Infrastructure at Livelihood Project.

Bago matapos ang termino ng isang Senador, kumita na siya ng P100 milyon sa Pork Barrel pa lang. Yung ibang Senador mas gahaman, hindi lang 10% kundi 20 - 30% ang komisyon hinihingi sa mga kontratista.
Pansinin ninyo na lang ang pagbabago ng buhay ng ilan sa ating mga Senador simula nang manungkulan sa puwesto. Kung dati ay simple lang ang kanilang pamumuhay ngayon ay nakatira na sila sa mga eksklusibong subdivision, maraming bahay sa Pilipinas at abroad at mahigit lima ang sasakyan.
Ngayon nagtataka ka pa ba kung bakit gumagastos ng daan-daang milyong piso ang mga Senador sa kampanya para sa isang posisyon na P35,000 lang ang suweldo kada buwan? Bawing-bawi pala ang gastos kapag naupo na!
ANG SARAP MAGING SENADOR! ! !

One of the reasons why the Philippines will never, ever get off the ground......ayon...... kaya talagang mahirap nang umasenso ang bansang Pilipinas - yung mismo gobierno nila ninanakawan ang kanilang kapuwa taong pilipino at hindi pa iyan..... hindi pa sila nagbabayad ng buwis sa bansa - kaya lahat ng kalyehon lubak-lubak at masyadong madumi at mababaho!!! Hindi na sila nahiya sa kanilang nakikita....eh kasalanan naman nila yoon - dapat sa kanila pumunta lahat ng mahihirap.....we should be thankful to miriam defensor santiago for being fair dinkum and honest about this - for exposing these people - that is what the country needs - whistleblowers - if there are no whistleblowers the country will never ever prosper and will just sit in the sidelines watching with envy the prosperity of the other southeast asian countries - look at Vietnam now, much better.......while the rest of the new breed of filipinas are just maids - the present level of education has also deteriorated in that country - whether it be ateneo, up, la salle - they could not compete anymore - they do not know how to use their education to better up their poor country, they prefer to steal not to assist in the path of prosperity for their country - they lack human factor and social conscience and no social responsibility....the result of a poor level of education. so wake up, you filipinos paying your taxes there, stop defending your corrupt masters and do something!!!!! we all feel so sorry for you....

100 Days

Message: Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.
Tina: I'm so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.

Peter: I guess we're the only leftovers. We're the only person who isn't with a date now. (both sigh n silence for a while)

Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game

Peter: Eh? What game?

Tina: Eem..It's quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I'll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?

Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don't have any plan for the next few months.

Tina: You sound like you aren't looking forward to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?

Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.

Tina: Seems like I don't have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)

Day 2:

Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.

Day 3:

They went shopping together for a friend's birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.

Day 7:

Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.

Day 25:

Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone's hand instead of Peter's hand by accident. They laughed together

for a while.

Day 67:

They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said "Treasure every moment from now on" and a tear rolled down the fortune teller's cheek.

Day 84:

Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn't so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.

Day 99:

They decided to have a simple day and is deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.

1:23 pm

Tina: I'm thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem...Apple juice will be just fine.

1:43 pm

Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.

Stranger: Is your name Tina?

Tina: Yes, and may I help you?

Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.
Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.

11:51 pm

Doctor: I'm sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.
The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears. Here is what the letter said.

Tina,

our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.

11:58

Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can't leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back to
me now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.
As the clock struck twelve, Peter's heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.

NOTE*

Tell the guy or girl that you love them before
its too late. You never know whats going to
happen tomorrow. You never know who will be
leaving you and never return


The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity.

*courtesy of the author*